Something I struggle with is finding the balance in motherhood. Once you are a mom, you will never be the person you were, again. Motherhood changes you in so many ways….not just physically and emotionally. You will never again make choices just for yourself, every thought you have starts to revolve around this new little human(s) that belong to you. And those changes can be so beautiful. Watching a woman bloom into a mother is an amazing thing.
But, those changes can also feel so strange.
I am always saying that new motherhood is such a weirdly isolating thing. You have this person who needs you full time, you are running around to this appointment or that appointment, and you’re never alone. You’re schedule becomes dictated by these little ones, and it can be hard to make time to be with friends or do the things you used to. And in the quiet moments (however, few and far between they may be) you are mourning the loss of who you were and feeling like you. And I know how hard it can be to figure out what that new normal looks like. It can be hard to not feel guilty about spending time away from your babies. But it is good for them to be with their dad, grandma, aunt…whoever else you choose. Those relationships are just as important to nurture and it becomes a win-win, they get that time and you get a break.
You may see other mamas and think about the things they do, and how they are similar or different to you. And its overwhelming and daunting to try and pick up all these pieces and put them together in a new way. Comparing will kill your joy, just stop doing it! All parents have different strengths and just because your mama friends or other moms you see on social media may be good at somethings, it doesn’t mean you have to be. I am not a good housekeeper or decorating….I really want to be (oh how I want to be) but its just not something I do well or enjoy doing. But I’m pretty good at organizing events and baking treats! Maybe you are good at decorating but wish you were better at something else. I want you to stop focusing on the things you wish you were and start celebrating the things that you already ARE! Don’t force yourself into a hobby or activity, just because, find what makes your heart really sing, and spend your time on that.
Letting it Go
I am working allowing myself to not be totally identified and wrapped up in my role as “mama”. While motherhood is a huge part of who I am, its not all of me. I am also a woman, a sister, a friend, a professional, a wife.
Making time to do the things that make me happy and fulfilled. And yes, I have to make the time, otherwise, there never would be any! Of course, those things will look different for everyone. Find what makes you happy, truly happy, and take time to do those things! You are the best mama, when you are happy. It is okay to take time to be you! For me writing this blog scheduling nights out with my friend, and my work in breastfeeding and postpartum support, makes me a better mama. Those things fill the gaps left, by the “old me” and make me feel whole.
My new Jord watch, is helping me with this goal, to make time for me. I usually check the time on my phone, but there is something about having this physical reminder on my wrist. Jord has so many beautiful pieces and It was so hard for me to narrow it down. This Zebrawood Frankie, is totally my style and goes with everything. I had them engrave “I am enough”(you guys know I love my affirmations) on the back of my watch, as a remind that it is okay to be me, just the way I am. I really struggle with feeling inadequate and now, I have a constant reminder on my wrist. That reminder helps me get through every day.
I am teaming up with Jord to give one lucky winner $100 toward a time piece of their own! Perfect timing, with Mothers and Fathers day coming up!
Click HERE to enter!